My life is centered around love. It always has been. I live to love. I have always followed my heart. Listening to it, letting it take me wherever it deems worthy, without questioning it at all. And with that, I have fallen in love with so many things. People, places, things, animals, concepts, ideas, ways of life, religion, cultures and worlds. And I am afraid of what would happen if that love left.
I am afraid of the empty shell that I would become once my love was taken away. I felt it once. For awhile actually. And I hated it. Despised the very essence of its inhumanness. It has since departed. And for that I am eternally grateful. But I noticed recently, that a close friend of mine, is the exact opposite of me. They, unlike me, are afraid of the existence of love.
They are afraid of what their love will do to them. Who it will make them. They do not want to keep people or things too close, for fear of it hurting them or they in turn hurting others. And here I am, not caring if it hurts me along the way. Just as long as I have it, I will do anything to keep it. They however, will do anything to push it away. Even if they know deep down, they want it. They cannot possibly allow it. In a strange way, we still work. Each being afraid of the other's love in our own way. Both afraid of what would happen if one or both of us changed.
How odd our ways of thinking are. Something as beautiful and pure as love scares us from life, from living the best life we can. Perhaps one day we will have our wrinkles ironed out. Perhaps not. But I always like to look for the positive, hoping that tomorrow will be better than today. Sure our views on love may be skewed. But it is who we are. And who God created us to be.
There is a method to our madness, we just need time and more life experience to figure it out.
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